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Yes, women are socialized to believe that they need to look 18 forever and aging makes you ugly.
Yes, men are aware that women are socialized thusly, and may conclude that it’s a compliment to say, “Wow, you look so young!
If you are a reasonably intelligent woman with some amount of self-esteem, you will eventually be branded as “crazy” by No Crazies Guy. See also: Men who refer to women as “females.” The shirtless photo. We’re all animals here—looks are a big part of the online dating game, so I don’t begrudge anyone for trying to look sexy.
But an equally important component of the online dating game is sending visual cues to potential dates about what kind of person you are.
The internet is a delivery system for any kind of pornography imaginable. A dater’s comment about how he is Such a Nice Guy is inevitably followed up by a lament about how women only like jerks—i.e., any guy who is not the Nice Guy. Because he sometimes does nice things for women, and they do not have sex with him in return. All of the user’s favorite authors, directors and musicians are white men, except that one rapper they like.
So he brings up his Niceness as a way to guilt women into sex. Then, he includes this information on his internet dating profile. What It Means: I am totally steeped in White Dude Culture. And if you’re a woman who dates men, recognize that a man who only cares about Dude Things may not care so much about your things at the end of the day.
Of course, buffet-style dating strikes a lot of people as overly consumerist: You’re evaluating potential mates not based on any real-life connection, but on a set of characteristics they list on a website and a curated set of self-shots.
If someone uses that section as an opportunity to vent about everything they hate, they are a bad-finder who will sniff out all of your faults. They’re convinced that much of the female population is mentally unstable because they have on occasion run into females who believe they are entitled to their own thoughts, opinions, and rights—and exercise the right not to be interested in No Crazies guy.
Online dating informs you from the get-go if your potential companion enjoys the musical stylings of John Mayer, thinks counts as a “book,” or voted for Ron Paul.
People lie—despite the appearances of my tightly curated online profile, my typical Friday night is not actually spent out drinking whiskey, but rather downing a bottle of wine on my couch.
Men are socialized to Hit Anything That Moves (or at least to consider having sex with any interested woman). For women, Ok Cupid is both a less-intimidating medium for asking men on dates, and an easy out for evading creepy suitors.
You’re entitled to select a date you are interested in and attracted to, which means you don’t have to respond to a guy’s advances just because he’s taken the time to advance upon you.